And You Call This BLOGGING?

I've been really crazy lately. Not crazy like sneak-out-of-the-house, lie-about-your-age, and sleep-in-a-car-high-school crazy. More like come-home-from-work-and-go-fishing-while-updating-your-facebook-status-with-unnecessary-cap-locks-crazy.

I have two problems. One- I make really bold and far fetched metaphors. One could call me an "over-simplifier". I have a friend named Kevin who accuses me of oversimplifying complex situations and make light of them. When I teach my students math, and they don't know their multiplication facts by heart, I tell them that I'm teaching them how to drive, but they aren't putting any gas in their car.

"Well, Ms. T, Gas is expensive."

Too true, my destined-for-drive-thru-career student, too true. Oh, right. I have a second problem. I ramble so much that I often forget to stay on point, not to mention forget my point altogether. Altogether IS a word, btw. There is no squiggly line under it.

As I write this blog, I'd like to say that life is great and perfect, but it's not. Each day I experience it for what it is. My mother always told me that I should stay focused on the present. Garth Algar always said, "live in the now!". I mean, the signs have always been around me, but now, finally, 28 years old, I realize that there's an entire psychological destination I get to develop in to that embraces the present as my true reality. I fear that somebody really is going to read this at some point. I mean, yeah, we are on the innerwarbs. Guten Tag, Amigos. However, I am looking forward to recognizing and learning more about my new discovery of the present. Living here, now, really is a liberating concept because it allows me to let go of all of the judgements and false realities I have created in my mind for the past 28 years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not done judging! I have yet to see my last day of hating! There are many more conclusions to be jumped to and books to be...covered? However, I feel like I'm one step ahead of the game to understand why I judge the way I do. Sure, it's tough to hold students to a standard that my community held me to in Raleigh NC. In South Texas, 5th graders aren't expected to go to NCSU and study engineering and work for a fortune 500 RTP superpower. They don't have the same standards to rise to as I did when I had to write research papers with citations in 4th grade. Is that wrong? Is that bad? No and no. Is it different? Yes. And I've recognized that awareness is one thing, but exhausting myself judging these facts is just that- exhausting. Let it go, LT. Live in the now. Go ride your bike to the beach. Cruise in the kayak to a deserted island. Hop on the Carolina Skiff and spend an afternoon catching red fish and cursing the sea monsters for stealing your bait. I can't allow myself to get caught up judging things that I can't ultimately change. I can only allow myself to construct my own "present dictionary" and fill those pages with real life, concrete events to reflect on and learn from.

Yeah. I'm not even going to live in the past by proofreading or editing this blog. I know it's too long. Sorry I wasted your "present", but that's all in the "past", so....position yourself to enjoy the future.