Before I begin, I should share my judgements on "facebook status updates" in the "excercize" category. I don't think that sharing with everyone that you're excercising is really necessary. What I experience is a overwhelming whiff of going out of ones way to self define your self worth. ..."Sefl define your self worth?" Well, I know that's strange and long winded- but in our culture, it's still very difficult for us to tell others about how great we are. It's called "bragging" or just over stepping the "culturally acceptible humility" line that we have to subconsciously dance around in our self expression.
Who knows if that makes sense...but all of this jarbled thought process synthesized is to say that I make my best thought creations, ideas, or just great internal images while I'm running from my house to the beach. I should break that latter part of that sentence doesn. First off, I don't really run TOO much- because it's hot as crap, and my bones are approaching 30 and only need to be stressed SO much. Let's not overdo it here- I'm not getting any better. Second, from my house to the beach is just over half a milk away. It's a mile, round trip, and I think from my door to the kitchen is like .6 of a mile in itself. Okay- just kidding. My house is tiny (see prior paragraph on humble..)
At any rate, today I decided that I should probably figure out a way to make money. From any part of the country. I needed to do something that I loved instead of being a pusher for some pyramid scheme full of has-beens and never-weres. Again, mostly the latter. I would get a little more in to this, but then I'd just sound like a small business guru who had nothing else on their mind but making money. Money? I've got that. You know, like a coin jar with $28.00 in it and I know I saw $.75 in the drier this morning. My idea? It's there. Other ideas? I've got them too. But the crux- is selling the idea. I don't really think people like me or my ideas that much.
Let me end that paragraph where I did. This brings me to another thought I had today- again- while running...uh, walking and thinking about running:
If I did write a blog, and I did spill my heart out to anyone willing to read it, I would always try to have a motive, or a purpose. Always write with a purpose, right? Well, my purpose is ALWAYS to give meaningful, honest, criticizms and reactions to life's experiences. I'd like to make no excuses for naive, ignorant, or self serving thoughts I've imagined or even expressed. I know I'm not perfect. However, I know that I'm honest. That doesn't mean I don't think of others' feelings when I express my thoughts. However, if I wanted to write a blog, I would want to talk about my happiness as well as my sadness. I'm not depressed! I just think that happiness and sadness is a healthy part of the ups and downs of life. If I was happy all the time, I'd be, well, stupid. You know- ditzy, dumb, scatterbrained. But on the contrary, if I was always sad- oooh, she's depressed. She's like Olivier on Projectrunway Season 9. Never seeing the positive and taking forever to finish the tailoring on this week's jacket.
If I were to write my blog, though, I'd include my happiness as well as my sadness. However, I recognize how easy it is for an audience to say, "oh, what a dumb bitch. She's upset today because she didn't have any cereal in her refridgerator. Boo Hoo". You know? I get sad sometimes - but it's not like curl up in a ball in a dark room and sulk to myself sad. It's like driving-home-from-work and looking at all the people who have real jobs going to their home from their job. I'm very in touch with the down and outs of life- and I know that I don't even have it that bad. Like that Joe Walsh song...you know- I'm not even going to quote it because any redneck-rock radio station plays it on heavy rotation. And I'm not the only person who knows all the words to all those songs.
So, I guess this week's blog is about what I would write about if I had a blog. And it'd be sadness. But that's also because I"m happy! But not stupid.
